In the Beginning | Man, Woman, and Marriage
In the Beginning…
MAN, WOMAN AND MARRIAGE
Genesis 2:18, 21-25 ESV
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him…So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said,
“This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.”
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
Many months ago, my wife and I met my friend and his family. As a distant relative, we have a common bond even though we live far from each other. In fact, it’s my first time to meet him in person. As we sat on the table for lunch together with the family, our conversations were very friendly that it allowed him to open up his side of life story. My wife and I lovingly listened to his struggle as a Christian when his beautiful daughter married a woman. He knew his stand on same-sex marriage, but he felt helpless for the decision of his daughter when she willfully decided to do her own thing.
Today, we live in a confusing world. The secular culture constantly attacks the biblical and historical Christian faith and undermines its traditional values, especially on gender and marriage. The Pew Research Center did a survey in May 2019. They found out that 66% of white mainline Protestants support gay marriage while Catholics have 61%. White evangelical Christians, however, have 29% in favor of same-sex marriage.1
How should Christians respond to the secular and increasing attack on biblical marriage? What would you do if your children and young people are being taught to just follow their “own truths” and feelings instead of faith in God based on the Scripture? Or embrace liberal indoctrination in exchange for God’s revelation?
This crucial time should compel you to be more grounded on the Scripture. If your understanding of the Bible as an inerrant and infallible Word of God is not solid, you’re bound to be swayed, including your children. But if you are settled that this is the Word of God, then, no culture, science, and worldly worldview will intimidate and sway you.
The truth is biblical Christianity could be considerate about the surrounding culture, but it should be consistent in its belief and practice on the grounds of God’s Word, not the world or human opinion. After all, why would we allow a godless worldview to define and determine what we believe and violate our conscience?
Today, followers of Jesus are ridiculed at schools, colleges, and public meetings as “intolerant” and “haters” for standing on the teachings of the Bible regarding gender and marriage. Interestingly, those who cannot tolerate Christians for their belief are considered “tolerant.” But does it really mean you hate someone when you disagree? Are they saying that since the Bible goes against what the world believes and does, the Bible is a hate-filled book?
Instead of justifying errors, why won't we go back to the original plan of God and be open-minded? What’s the blueprint of God on manhood, womanhood, and marriage?
Previously, we learned from God’s Word that there is an eternal, all-powerful, and intelligent God who created the universe in six days as opposed to the theory of the world evolving on its own through billions of years. So far, science could not create something out from nothing; and yet atheistic science believed it happened without any help from God. Even the probability of life coming out from non-living matters and have all that’s necessary for life to exist would have been impossible without God.
We also learned that on the sixth day—not thousands of years of evolution—God created man in His own image, possessing qualities and character in His likeness. As the peak of God’s creation, we also saw that God gave man authority over all the creation, as apparent in him having “dominion” and “naming” the living creatures (Gen 2:20).
Today, we will learn or relearn the original plan of God on manhood, womanhood, and marriage—and we affirm these self-evident truths in the Scripture.
I. WE AFFIRM THAT GOD CREATED MAN AND WOMAN FOR MARRIAGE (vv.18, 21-22)
The truth is, God could have settled with a man without a woman. Technically speaking, when God created a man, and there’s nothing else, man could have existed on his own on that perfect environment. After all, when God created the angels of heaven, He is fine with having these angelic beings around him (even though they do not have the power to procreate among themselves because they are asexual). But instead, He created a man and a woman. Why?
A. It is not good for the man to be alone (v.18a). When the Bible says, “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone,” it means he is “alone” in some ways.
As a Human Being, at this point, man is alone in relation to his “kind” or species. When God created the birds and the animals, they were created in their own species. As a human being, man is alone.
As a Relational Being, man is alone without someone of his opposite kind. God created humans for a fellowship of his kind and not become isolated. Certainly, the first man was in perfect fellowship with his Creator, but having someone of his kind is essential in his total health, well-being building, and interpersonal relationship.
This truth shows us the importance of human-to-human relationships for our well-being. God designed a human being to have a meaningful relationship with someone—and apart from that, there is no amount of power, authority, and success that can compensate that lack of relationship or loneliness.
B. It is not fitting for man without a companion (v.18b). When God said, “I will make him a helper fit for him,” it does not mean that man is incapable of handling his environment. But there is an obvious limitation a man possessed without a woman: he cannot reproduce his own kind.
When God blessed His human creation, “be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth” (Gen. 1:28), it obviously shows that man cannot do it alone because God designed various species to reproduce only its own—and being the only man, Adam cannot reproduce himself. God saw the need for a fitting companion. Even though God created all the other animals, only a fellow human being is totally fit for Adam. He needs a helpmeet or a suitable partner.
C. God made a woman distinctly from a man (vv.21-22). The Bible says, “So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.”
This narrative shows us that God created a woman in a different fashion but of the same kind. The woman was created out of the flesh and bone of the man. She is a human being with body, soul, and spirit, but God made her with a biological difference. In this view, God created and determined their gender as “man” and “woman.” It was God—not us—who made two sexes: “male” and “female.”
II. WE AFFIRM THAT GOD’S ORIGINAL DESIGN FOR A COVENANT UNION IS BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN (vv.23-25)
In the beginning, the original blueprint of God for marriage is between a man and a woman. This ultimate form of human-to-human relationship is a sacred companionship. This divine design is not something to be taken lightly.
Humans are relational beings. And God created us to express this relational intuition in marriage. Now, this is not to call out those who have the gift of blessed singleness and are settled with godly friendships but to remind those who want to enter into a covenant marriage relationship with someone else.
A. The Confirmation (v.23)
Then the man said,
“This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.”
Adam knew from the heart that God’s design for a covenant relationship is for him to confirm a fellow human being. Adam’s confession, “This at last,” has a form of finality in God’s creation. This “like-kind” in flesh and bones is the ultimate one and like no other in all of God’s creation. If the man was the peak of God’s creation, the woman is the final—even the finest—creation of God. Generally, it’s men who are attracted to women.
B. The Commitment (vv.24-25)
If any person wants to enter into a marriage relationship, he or she must consider it seriously. It’s because marriage requires commitment. The Bible declares this:
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” In this scenario, God is pointing out these realities:
Marriage is a close commitment between a man and a woman—not man to man, woman to woman, or man to many woman, or woman to many man, or man to animal. The phrase “hold fast” means to cling to his wife. It means the husband must stand with his wife and stick to her with love and loyalty.
Marriage is a sacred union between a man and a woman. That “they shall become one flesh” is a symbolism of intimate union between two distinct individuals designed only for two human beings who consented to be married and please God.
These truths are self-evident in God’ Word. Even Bible Church International affirmed this biblical teaching in its amended articles of faith on “Marriage and Human Sexuality.”2 Why do we need to do this?
III. WE ARE AWARE THAT GOD’S PLAN FOR MARRIAGE IS—AND WILL ALWAYS BE—CHALLENGED
Have you noticed the statement, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife”? You might be asking: If this is the first marriage in the Garden of Eden, why is there a mention of a “father” and “mother”? Obviously, Adam was the first human here, without any parents. So is Eve, the first woman. But this is an indication that in the near future, God’s creation, including His design for marriage, would be challenged.
So as Christians, how are we going to respond to these constant challenges, like the secular worldviews that constantly opposes the biblical teachings on man, woman, and marriage? Here’s how.
We must understand the power of sin and its impact on human nature. What we’ve just studied was before the Fall when everything was perfect. But what would happen next, we mostly know. Adam and Eve fell into sin. Sinful nature came in, and as a product of the curse of sin, almost everything went wrong in the natural design of God, including marriage relationships. After the Fall, human beings began distorting God’s idea of marriage. Polygamy, divorce, homosexuality, pedophilia, bestiality, and other sinful practices came to the picture. These are spiritual symptoms, not just legal matters. This sinful nature shared by all humans makes all anthropology, cultures, or psychology, as an unreliable basis for marriage as simply a human construct. Not only that. After the Fall, it is also possible that sin affected the human DNA or made some mutation and malfunction in the biological structure of some people. One thing is clear: God did not create homosexuality. Instead, it is a syndrome of sin and a result of the curse sin, not just a parental or environmental upbringing.
We must also recognize that not all people share our faith and practice. In fact, Christians are also divided regarding gay marriage. Even though it is our right to believe in what we believe and to stand with our conscience, it is also the right of other people to make a decision for themselves. We don't necessarily have to approve, support, and condone the idea of same-sex marriage, but we must agree to disagree and treat people with dignity respectfully. After all, what is legal does not necessarily mean it is right with God. (Remember, when God did the first wedding, there was no government existing at that period. It is His authority that matters above all.) That's why the Southern Baptist Convention resolved in 2003 that, “we commit ourselves to pray for and support legislative and legal efforts to oppose the same-sex unions.”3
We must hold on to God’s Word regarding manhood, womanhood, and marriage. It is likely that our Lord Jesus Christ met homosexuals before. But his position on marriage is consistent with Genesis as historical and literal (see Matthew 19:4-6). Loving people like Christ does not necessarily mean you have to condone what non-believers do. Calling gay marriage as a sin by God’s standard is not hate speech. It’s a sacred idea or an inviolable conviction based on God’s revelation. It is the truth. But as we hold fast to God, and as the opportunity arises, we are compelled by Christ’s love to share the transforming Gospel, for there are many LGBTQ people who are also genuinely changed by the Gospel of Christ. Hear what the SBC affirmed,
“We call on Southern Baptists not only to stand against same-sex marriage, but to demonstrate our love for those practicing homosexuality by sharing with them the forgiving and transforming power of the gospel of Jesus Christ (1 Corinthians 6:9-11).”4
In the midst of this chaos and confusion, there is an opportunity for God’s mission. But we must also face the challenge by holding on to God’s revelation and discipling the next generation. For in the end, we will all stand before God. And on that day, regardless of how anyone thinks, feels, or believes, God’s truth will prevail.
1. David Maci, et al. “5 facts about same sex marriage” https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/06/24/same-sex-marriage/
2. Amended BCI Constitution and By Laws, Article IX
3. Southern Baptist Convention, SBC Resolutions, “On Same Sex Marriage” (2003) http://www.sbc.net/resolutions/1128
4. Southern Baptist Convention, SBC Resolutions, “On ‘Same Sex Marriage’ and Civil Rights Rhetoric” (2012), http://www.sbc.net/resolutions/1224