The Joys of Grandparenting
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Happy Grandparent’s Day
The Joys of Grandparenting: Hitting God’s Target as We Influence Others
Proverbs 22:6; Psalm 127:4 ESV
Intro: Video of Grandparent Interview with Bruce and Shirley Lehrman, parents of Gina Allen.
Text: “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Main Point: Today’s message is intended for grandparents, but I want for all of us to hear how this message applies to us. You see, we can all the Joys of Influencing others for the Lord and His Kingdom. For us to experience the joys and successes of grandparenting/or influencing others in our life relationships, we must be (1) methodical; (2) models; (3) memorable.
Key Illustration: I want us all to keep in our minds the picture of an archer this morning. An archer is one who has their bow in hand, and who is pulling an arrow back to aim at a target that they hope they will hit, when they release the arrow.
I. Training must be methodical, if we are to influence others and hit God’s target for our lives.
What is training? And what does the writer of Proverbs mean when he uses the term “Train” in this passage?
The Christian Standard Bible: “Start a youth out on his way…”
Holman Christian Standard Bible: “teach a youth…”
New Living Translation: “direct your children…”
Ang Magandang Balita Biblia: “ituro sa bata ang daang dapat niyang lakaran.” (Or “show the child the way he should go.”)
Hebrew: (Chânak): “to initiate, to teach; to consecrate.” Only occurs 5 times in Scripture; indicates dedication to training, early age training, and action taken by a community.
This word “train/show/teach/dedicate,” etc in this verse carries the following implications:
Training is intentional
Training is formative (initiated early, involves dedication to a goal)
Training is systematic and systemic – it is accomplished in multiple ways (demonstration and proclamation), as well as reinforced within community
Psalm 127:4 reminds us: “Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the sons born in one’s youth.”
We must seek to be like our key illustration of the archer, who develops muscle-memory through endless repetition, to consistently hit the bullseye of his target. As an influencer, you are the archer, and those you influence are the arrows. We must repeatedly and intentionally rehearse the mechanics of living out our faith, so that we develop a sort of spiritual muscle-memory in launching our “arrows” powerfully and precisely towards God’s intended “target.” This repetition is critical to the high-level impact we desire for influencing those in our lives.
As “muscle-memory” is key in any high-level athletic performance, spiritual muscle memory is critical in stewarding the influence that the Lord has entrusted to us. This muscle-memory is developed through endless, methodical repetition, so an influencer or grandparent must also be methodical, training, teaching, showing, dedicating themselves to the task of leading those who follow us.
II. Training must be modeled if we are to influence others and hit God’s target for our lives.
This verse from Proverbs—like many of the proverbs—sort of stands alone. There isn’t much context provided, in which parenting is discussed. Beyond this verse, there isn’t much to help us understand or fully interpret what is meant by the instruction we are given in this often-quoted directive from Scripture.
We do know that King Solomon, the son of David, composed and compiled this book that is in our Bibles. Solomon is said, of course, to have been the wisest and wealthiest king of any era in history, because God blessed him by honoring Solomon’s prayer for wisdom to lead God’s people (1 Kings 3:3-14).
We learn in 1 Kings 11 that King Solomon also had a harem of 700 wives, who were princesses. Well, if that were not enough, Solomon had 300 concubines, or prostitutes, who served him.
The Middle Eastern culture of Solomon’s time was very different from God’s standards today, and even in Solomon’s time. 1 Kings 11 tells us that—because Solomon “loved many foreign women—along with the daughter of Pharaoh: Moabite, Ammonite, Edomite, Sidonian and Hittite women ….his wives turned away his heart after other gods.”
My primary point in bringing up all of Solomon’s infidelity, is to highlight the fact that Solomon must have had thousands upon thousands of grandchildren. So there are surely things we can learn from both his positive and his negative examples.
When Solomon wrote, “train up a child in the way they should go, and when they are old, they will not depart from it,” the King clearly had some perspective—gained both from his life experience of mistakes, as well as from his successes at parenting and grandparenting and ruling and influencing others.
What is one of the best ways to influence others in our lives, whether children, grandchildren, or others whom we care about? By modeling Godly values in front of them.
Most of us do not live many moments of our lives intentionally modeling for those around us-- living as though someone is watching. But if we stop to think about it, someone is always watching. You know who is watching most closely? Those around with whom we are least guarded—the people we work with, study with—and especially those we live with.
Models aren’t perfect, but they strive to be disciplined and consistent. Be honest with your struggles among those you influence but lean upon the Lord to overcome them.
As with the archer, in our key illustration, he/she must draw the bow back, back, back, patiently, for the arrow to fly, fly, fly, powerfully and precisely towards its intended target. Oftentimes as influencers, we feel the disappointment of setbacks, and discouragements and failures—setting us back, back, back. But these temporary setbacks can remind us that “setbacks” or “draw-backs” can help us to much more effectively launch the “arrows” whom we influence in life.
Struggles, or setbacks in life, teach us. But if we choose not to waste these struggles, we can impart amazingly valuable wisdom to those whom we influence.
III. Training must be memorable, if we are to influence others and hit God’s target for our lives.
Many times we do not live the moments of our discretionary lives with the intention of being memorable to those around us—making memories with others around us or seizing upon teachable moments that occur through successes and struggles in life.
Those influenced by you are dependent upon your wisdom, your attentive and unconditional care of them and upon your example. The spiritual muscle-memory and perspective that you bring to the task of influencing others leads to teachable, memory-making moments. And these moments lead to a legacy of faithfulness.
Memory-making is all about legacy. It’s about hitting the target with our “arrows.” Are we hitting the target we are aiming for? As one teacher has said, if you live your life “aiming at nothing” you will hit it (nothing) every time. Making memories with those we lead is all about seizing upon teachable moments, about speaking up and speaking into the lives of those we influence.
The joys/successes of grandparenting—or any other relationships in which we influence those around us—involve aiming at legacy, and resting with confidence in God’s promise: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness.” Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me.” (2 Cor 12:9)
When your children, grandchildren, or others you love see you continually and intentionally struggling to find and hit the mark that the Lord has identified for your life, they trust you. That trust leads to an example that they remember, and one that gives them strength to trust the Lord, even when they encounter the highs and lows of life in this world.
Conclusion:
One more thing about legacy, on this occasion where we celebrate the launching of a new “arrow” from BCI, which is Staten Island Chinese Baptist Church on the 20th anniversary of 9/11. Simon and Karen, you are an answer to prayers for the heart of Chinese NY’ers.
Some of the greatest victories can rise from the aftermath of great tragedies. When I think of the attacks on 9/11, which occurred 20 years ago now, I know that this was a ploy of the devil. But even from what Satan intended for evil, God brought spiritual good.
9/11 has a spiritual legacy in NYC that we are still learning about. In the aftermath of 9/11, a prayer movement was started in NYC, in which me and Michala and Braden participated a few times. Every year thousands of people would walk the streets of NYC and pray over the people who live there, during an event called Pray NYC. In 2009, Redeemer Presbyterian Church commissioned a religious survey of Center City Manhattan, and they found that between 2001 and 2009, attendance at evangelical churches had grown from less than 1% to greater than 4% of the resident population. They also learned that 48% of the churches in Center City and Lower Manhattan (from Central Park North down) had been planted since 2001! This study has since been repeated twice, and the evangelical church attendance is now almost 7% of the resident population of Center City Manhattan!
To grandparents, and to those who desire to faithfully influence loved ones around them, God is gracious to us, when we are methodical, when we strive to be models worthy of imitating, and when we are memorable with teachable moments spent with those we hope to influence.
-Rev. Steve Allen