Super Single or Dynamic Duo
1 Corinthians 7:32-35 (ESV):
32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord.
33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife,
34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband.
35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undi vided devotion to the Lord.
In all the weddings I have done, one wedding I won’t forget happened when the bride and the groom decided to ask some of their friends to sing the bridal march. During the wedding rehearsal, the friends assigned to sing the bridal march did not bother to practice, so I assumed it was going to be okay. Come the wedding day, I was already positioned inside a Gazebo while the groom waited outside the Gazebo for the bride to start walking in. When I saw the bride posi tioned herself for her grand entrance, I invited everyone to stand in honor of the bride. And to my disbelief, the bridal march singers started singing, “I Don’t Know About Tomorrow.” How many of you are familiar with the lyrics of the song? Here are they:
I don’t know about tomorrow, I just live from day to day.
I don’t borrow from its sunshine, For its skies may turn to gray.
I don’t worry o’er the future, For I know what Jesus said,
And today I’ll walk beside Him, For He knows what is ahead.
Refrain:
Many things about tomorrow, I don’t seem to understand;
But I know who holds tomorrow, And I know who holds my hand.
Listening to that hymn while the bride was marching made me uncomfortable. Why? Don’t get me wrong, I know the song is beautiful, and it promises that we don’t have to worry about the future because God holds our tomorrow. But it also gave the impression that afternoon during the wedding, the bride was uncertain about her future with her husband-to be.
I know that many times, when you are still single, you can’t wait to get married. But once you’re married, you wish you never got married. For this reason, I felt that it would be great if we could study together what the Bible says about what’s great about being single and, at the same time, also talk about how great it is to be married. Personally, I’ve been married now for 37 years, and until today, I consider myself very blessed to have found my life partner. No regrets at all!
For our main text, we find the apostle Paul addressing this topic of singleness and marriage in the Corinthian church, where sexual promiscuity was a real problem. If you go back to the previous chapter, the last verses provide some clear reminders about this issue:
1 Corinthians 6:18-20:
18 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin[a]a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral per son sins against his own body.
19Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own,
20 for you were bought with a price. So, glorify God in your body.
Clearly, we have a strong warning against sexual immorality. Not only is it not pleasing to God, but all immoral be lievers will also defile their own bodies, which are the dwelling places of the Holy Spirit. Then, coming to chapter 7, we have this discussion of singleness and marriage. How are they closely related? Perhaps, there were some single believers who
thought that marriage would end their promiscuity; or married people who thought that ending their marriages could make them feel less guilty about being promiscuous. But again, without this intimate relationship with God, neither singleness nor marriage will not bring the highest benefits to believers. For our discussion, allow me to cover three essential subtopics:
I THE PROFITS OF SINGLENESS
Today, a big section of our society falls into the category of being single. According to the research published by the United States Bureau in September 2022, about fifty percent (50%), that’s 126.9 million, in America are single. This section can be divided into three subgroups: those who were never married, those who are separated or divorced, and the rest who are widowed. With this big group of people, it is important that we provide them with some guidelines from God’s Word.
Now, if you’re single, it is possible that your main question is: Should I get married, or is it God’s will for me to get married? When you carefully examine our main text, the apostle clearly presents several advantages of being single. Before I give you the two major advantages, it would help us to understand that Paul said these words as a single person. Notice what he says in 1 Corinthians 7:7:
7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.
So, the apostle Paul knew exactly what he was talking about because when he wrote this letter to the Corinthian church, he was already single. Many Bible scholars believe that Paul was once married and later widowed. According to tradi tion, Paul was once a member of the Sanhedrin. And to belong to this exclusive body, it was necessary for a male to be twen ty years of age and married.
However, from this verse, we must highlight the word “gift.” The truth that Paul is trying to drive across is that there are believers who had been gifted to be married, while others are also gifted to remain single. In other words, there are peo ple who will find their greatest joy in being married, while others will find it in singleness. So, if you are already happy being single, you probably don’t need to get married.
Plus, there are two specific advantages:
A. Single People have Lesser Cares
When you go back to the text, verses 32-33 provide a strong contrast between single people and married ones. The key is found in the phrase, “anxious about the worldly things” (v.33). Let’s face it, single people have lesser worries. To be more specific, one area that Paul emphasized in the passage would be in pleasing the Lord. There’s no doubt that this speaks more of being able to serve the Lord to a greater extent.
Compared to single people, married people have to put more time into caring for their spouse and children, like working long hours to be able to provide for the needs of the family and making sure they invest enough time to cultivate better relationships. While single people can focus more on doing their best in serving the Lord. The sentiment of this pas sage reinforces what he said in the earlier verse:
1 Corinthians 7:28:
28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that.
Again, there are just some troubles married people have that single people could be spared from. Someone has de scribed the trouble in this way:
“There are two kinds of people at parties: those who want to go home early and those who want to be the last one in the place. The trouble is that they’re usually married to each other.”
B. Single People have Lesser Constraints
If you read verse 35, you will find the apostle saying, “I say this for your own benefit, not to
lay any restraint upon you.” Without a doubt, single people have greater freedom compared to mar ried people. I remember when we used to plan for mission trips, some of our churches in the Philip pines were telling us that it would be easier to gather more people during their summer months in the Philippines. During those times, their summer months were April and May. However, if we did that during those months, only our single members could join us because parents can’t leave when their kids are in school. Now, it’s better because they already changed their school calendar in the Philippines. We have the same summer months now with them. With lesser constraints, single people can serve the Lord more. So, I continue to challenge our single people to take advantage of this time in their life when they have greater opportunities to serve the Lord.
In our church, we have been also blessed with so many married people who, despite their constraints, have found enough time to serve the Lord. I’m sure many of them have served as constant inspirations to our single people. Praise God for them!
II THE POTENTIALS OF MARRIAGE
The question now is: Since singleness brings some great advantages, why would they get married? As an answer, here’s what Socrates, the philosopher, said:
“By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.”
Kidding aside, unless you have the gift of singleness, you must consider marriage. When you go to the Scriptures, it is quite evident that God initiated marriage in the Garden of Eden because of the potential blessings it can bring humankind. Let’s revisit that specific passage in Genesis 2:18-25 (ESV):
18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
19Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name.
20 The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him.
21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh.
22And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.
23 Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
When you examine the background of this passage, Adam seems to have everything he needed: He had a perfect mind, a perfect environment, and abundant provisions of food to eat. Yet, when you read verse 18, God recognized that it was “not good” for Adam “to be alone.” Out of this condition, God provided two essential blessings: A. Special Companion
When Adam looked around at the animals he named, all of them came in pairs. But then, he was by himself. All the beautiful animals around him did not fill the loneliness he felt in his heart. So, God allowed him to have a deep sleep, took from him a side rib, and created Eve out of it. Obviously, Eve was God’s remedy for Adam’s loneliness.
In other words, if you have chosen to get married, you also have chosen God’s provision for your deepest need for intimacy. You should do your best to bond with your spouse more than any other person around you. In fact, this is the rea son why the husband is commanded to leave his parents (v.24), so it would be easier to forge this kind of relationship with her. Failure to make your spouse your best friend only means you have failed to meet God’s purpose for your marriage.
B. Suitable Completion
The second essential blessing of marriage comes from the phrase in verse 18, saying, “I will
make him a helper fit for him.” Often, the misunderstanding of this text comes from the misinterpre tation of the word “helper.” This word should never be interpreted to suggest inferiority or subservi ence. The Hebrew word used here is “ezer,” which is often used in the Old Testament to God “rendering aid” to His people, like in Hosea 13:9 (ESV):
9 He destroys you, O Israel, for you are against me, against your helper.
Therefore, when God decided to give Adam his wife, Eve, He gave him someone who could assist him in life so that he could accomplish everything that God wanted him to accomplish. She literally was created by God to complete Adam. Pastor Charles Swindoll describes the same truth by saying:
“Eve was the missing piece in Adam’s puzzle of life.”
Would you agree with me that life becomes much more bearable when there are actually two of you, husband and wife, carrying all the burdens of life? King Solomon verbalizes this truth in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (ESV): 9Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.
10 For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! 11Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone?
12And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly bro ken.
You know, if you are married today, I hope you recognize that God had our best interest when He gave us our mar riage. God is good!
III THE PREPARATION FOR MARRIAGE
I know that there are some single people here who are praying for their future life partner. Yes, the gift of marriage can bring us so much joy in life, but if we make the mistake of choosing the wrong person to marry, it can also make our lives miserable. So, the key is preparing for marriage by being thorough about the right person to marry. Benjamin Franklin gave one practical piece of advice about it. He said:
“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterward.”
Love should never be blind. Our eyes should be wide open before marriage, and we need to commit to praying to marry someone who would meet God’s guidelines. It’s totally okay to have your personal preferences, like someone beauti ful or handsome and someone intelligent, etc. But you should never compromise on three godly standards. Here are they: A. Choose a Child of God.
The Bible is quite explicit that if you want to honor the Lord in choosing your life partner, you will choose someone who shares your faith. This truth is plainly stated in 2 Corinthians 6:14 (ESV):
14Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellow ship has light with darkness?
Through my many years of ministry, I have watched young people make this mistake, assuming that they can bring their spouse to the Lord after they get married. This conversion is never guaranteed. Often, it’s the believer who gets drawn away from the Lord.
B. Choose Someone Who Loves the Lord More Than Loving You.
Being a child of God is not enough; The greatest commandment of loving “the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength” (Mark 12:30) should always be front and center when you are looking for someone to marry. This love for God could be the guiding influence on your future partner to make decisions that will honor God and can save you both from many complications in life. While the lack of love for God can result in ungodly decisions that can invite God’s discipline into your lives.
A good warning to all of us is that we should not assume that because the person attends church, they are already spiritual and godly. Someone perfectly commented:
“Never assume the person you met in the church will be a godly spouse! Well, you know, being in a garage doesn’t auto-
matically make you a car. So is the one in church.”
How will you know, then, whether that person loves the Lord? This will lead me to my last
point:
C. Choose Someone Who Loves the Word More Than Loving the World.
Finally, you must look for someone obedient to the Lord’s commands found in His Word. Let’s read Romans 12:1-2 (ESV):
1 I appeal to you therefore, brothers by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.
2Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
The apostle Paul clearly shows us in this Scripture passage that a person who is surrendered to God does not con form to the world. Instead, he/she renews his/her mind through the cleansing capacity of the Word of God (Ephesians 5:26). This level of commitment, according to Paul, will result in knowing the perfect will of God in our lives.
I trust that with the limited we have this morning, I have shown us the blessings of whether we choose to live as a super single or a dynamic duo. As I said, not everyone is gifted to be single or gifted to be married. That’s not what’s most important! What will truly define our greatest joy in life is always how we will relate to Christ, not our status. This truth is ex actly what Paul was emphasizing when he said these words in verse 35 of our main text - “I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.”
If you decide to remain single or get married, it’s totally okay as long as you secure an undivided devotion to Jesus Christ. So, do you already have that in your life? Is your singleness making you more devoted to Christ? How about your mar riage? Did it help to make you more dedicated to Jesus Christ?
Lottie Moon is a well-known Southern Baptist Missionary. Every Christmas, most of the Southern Baptist Churches collect a special offering for missions in her name to honor her 39 years of missionary service to the Lord in China as a single person. In her earlier years as a missionary, she received a marriage proposal but turned it down. One day her niece asked, ''Aunt Lottie, have you ever been in love?'' She said ''Yes, but God had the first claim on my life, and since the two conflicted, there could be no question about the results.'' Her devotion to Jesus Christ still serves as an inspiration to many Christians about serving the Lord overseas.
June 4, 2023/Bishop Jeremiah Lepasana