The Family Table
Deuteronomy 6:4-9 (ESV):
4“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.
5You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.
6And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.
7You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
8You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
In February of 2021, the College of Pediatricians released an article highlighting the benefits of the family table. Here are seven of the benefits the article identified:
1. Improved Academics
2. Improved family relationships/socialization
3. Improved nutrition/decreased obesity
4. Decreased screen time, television viewing
5. Decreased risk of drug, alcohol, and nicotine use
6. Decreased other high-risk behaviors
7. Improved mental health/emotional well-being
How many of you have realized that the family table can bring you so many essential bene fits? In our society, where everyone has become so busy, more and more families are missing out on these benefits because they fail to practice family dinners. Is your family doing the same?
But, more than what these experts are telling us, I believe Bible believers should be more motivated to observe the family table because the Bible emphasizes it. Examining the Old and New Testament Scriptures, you will clearly find God calling us to the table as a family. How can I say this? In the Old Testament, for example, God has established the Sabbath Law and Feasts, which include celebrations at the family table. Do you know that the Sabbath celebration begins and ends with the family eating dinner together?
Then, in the New Testament, the ordinance of the Lord’s Supper (1 Corinthians 11:23-26) and the upcoming Marriage Supper of Lamb in heaven (Revelation 19:6-10) are just some direct invita tions for us to dine with the Lord Jesus Christ. Plus, listen to Jesus using the family table as a meta phor for the believer’s intimate communion with Him:
Revelation 3:20 (ESV):
20 Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.
No wonder after the church was established in Acts 2, the church devoted
herself to fellowshipping at the family table:
Acts 2:41-42 (ESV):
41 So those who received his word were baptized, and there were added that day about three thousand souls.
42And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers.
The truth that we want to convey clearly this morning is that if this truth is emphasized for God’s people in terms of their relationship with God and other believers, we should ensure that we don’t neglect it in our homes. The question now is how we can maintain a healthy practice of the family table at our own homes. Allow me to give you three practical suggestions:
I DETERMINE THE RIGHT MOTIVATION
The passage we started with found in Deuteronomy 6:4-9 should help clarify for us the ulti mate motivation why we need to restore coming to the family table. Yes, there are lots of benefits, according to the College of Pediatricians, why we need it in our homes, but the number one reason is still so we can nurture the faith of our children in the Lord.
The context of Deuteronomy 6 is that Israel as a nation was about to enter the Promised Land, and the generation that trusted the report of the ten spies and doubted the faithfulness of the Lord to keep His promises had already died in the wilderness. Now, God wanted the new generation en tering the Promised Land to disciple their children in loving the Lord with all their heart, soul, and might (vs. 4-6). When you reach verses 7-9, the Lord impressed on them how they should do it:
7You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
8You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
I would like to emphasize that parents should take advantage of all the opportunities they have to mention and model their love for God to their children. They ought to teach and train their children to love God with their all.
In response to this command in our passage, Jewish families have developed the “Shema prayer.” This prayer is central in Jewish families, where they recite verses 4-5 consistently every morning and evening. By the way, it is called “Shema” prayers because the first word in verse 4 is “Hear.” So, this gives you the hint that developing our children’s love for God will lead to them be-
coming more obedient to God.
Parents, please listen to me. We all want our children to be physically, emo
tionally, socially, and academically healthy. But we should prioritize developing them spiritually by ensuring that they consistently grow in their love for God.
We are all familiar with this passage in Matthew 6:33 –“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Do you know the background of this verse? The Lord Jesus was addressing the topic of worrying about material needs and the future – what they would eat or drink or what they would wear tomorrow. But Jesus assured them that if they put God and His Kingdom first, He would be faithful in meeting all of their needs.
How many of you believe this promise? Do your children believe this truth? Are you model ing this kind of faith to your children by prioritizing God in your lives? Let me challenge you to incor porate the family table in your home because God can effectively use it to nurture your children spiritually.
II DISCHARGE THE REQUIRED MANDATES
If the family will maintain an effective family table, then the family must commit to abide by the following mandates:
A. SHARE TIME WITH ONE ANOTHER
In our very busy culture in America, many families don’t even get to spend three family din ners a week. And with these families who are eating together, their dinners, on average, lasted 15 to 30 minutes. So, the challenge is not only coming to the table but also staying there. We are con stantly being pulled away from the family table. So, I strongly recommend that since family dinners can bring so much benefit to the entire family, we have to carefully plan our week so that we can increase the number of times we are eating together as a family.
Of course, when we speak of the family table, I should emphasize that it is more than just sharing your time so you can eat a meal together as a family. It is also a time of open communica tion with one another, allowing family members to share their day or experiences. Last year, during our family months, in one of the sermons I shared, I talked about a practice that my son James and his wife Jules had set up to encourage their children to share during dinner time. I find it really help ful, so I want to reiterate the three points they need to share:
1. Rose - Something good that happened during the day or something they can praise God for. 2. Bud - something you look forward to.
3. Thorn - Something bad or difficult things that happened during the day.
I love this because if you do this, you must fully engage your children and listen to what they say. When you engage them this way, you consciously tell your kids that they are important to you
and want to know what’s happening in their lives.
The point is that sharing life together as a family involves time. Sometimes, we could be selfish with our time, even to our own family. Let me challenge you to be generous with your time and carve out time as often as possible to gather to gether as a family. Take note: you have the ability to impact the lives of the people sitting around the table. So, be generous with your time and share them with your family. Here’s what the Bible says regarding generosity:
Proverbs 11:25 (ESV):
25Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered.
The words are quite clear: If we allow ourselves to be God’s channel of blessings to others, He promises to enrich or prosper us.
B. SERVE ONE ANOTHER
Another mandate we must be willing to commit to is serving one another. Our spiritual fami ly, the church, is often referred to as a family. In the New Testament, members of the church are of ten exhorted to serve one another:
Galatians 5:13 (ESV):
13 For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.
1 Peter 4:10 (ESV):
10As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace:
We need to establish that whatever is true for the church must be true for our families. For example, the first passage talks about our freedom to live our lives, but at the same time, we must not use our freedom to skip our responsibility to help our family members become productive for the Lord.
Let me give you a practical example. According to research, one of the biggest problems to day in our families is our fixation with our screens. It has been said that the average American spends seven and a half hours on their screens daily. That's equivalent to almost 114 days a year on a screen. You see, if we are not careful, our inability to turn off the television, computer, and mobile phones can harm the family table. Parents, let me ask you: Are your children competing with your mobile phones for your attention?
Just like what Paul said in Galatians, you may have the freedom to use your mobile phones, but there are times when they will not give you the greatest advantage.
Then, you have Peter's words: Each one of us has been given special gifts to serve one anoth er. So, to be good stewards of these gifts, we must use them to strengthen the family. Now, at the
family table, everyone should be serving. Some can help set the table, others can help prepare food, and the rest can help clean afterward. These responsibilities should be rotated among family members because it can lead to sustaining the healthy activity of coming to the family table. It should not be the burden of one member of the family. Just like in our church family, we must encourage serving one another. Besides, serving expresses our faith in God, which we must model before our families.
III DISTINGUISH THE REDEEMED MINDSET
If you go back to the chapter where we got our main text, God will clarify why the nation of Israel needed to help the next generation fall in love with Him. Here are His words:
Deuteronomy 6:10-12 (ESV):
10 “And when the Lord your God brings you into the land that he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give you—with great and good cities that you did not build,
11 and houses full of all good things that you did not fill, and cisterns that you did not dig, and vineyards and olive trees that you did not plant—and when you eat and are full,
12 then take care lest you forget the Lord, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.
Here, God is fully aware of His people’s tendency to forget Him, who saved them and deliv ered them from their slavery in Egypt, especially once they began to enjoy the prosperous land He gave them. Unfortunately, once we begin enjoying the material gifts from God, we quickly forget the giver of these gifts.
This is exactly the reason behind the ordinance of the Lord’s Table or the Lord’s Supper. It constantly reminds us of what Jesus Christ has done on the cross to save us so we can maintain a grateful heart toward the Lord and not forget Him. The Lord’s Table is often referred to as “The Eu charist.” The Eucharist literally means “Thanksgiving.” This should give us direct instructions re garding our family tables: We must find opportunities to point family members to the goodness of God toward us, His children.
Again, coming together as a family at the table should be perceived as a crucial activity that must be guarded carefully and must not be taken for granted. If you have already lost it at home, it is not yet too late, especially when your children are still living with you. Do whatever it takes to re store and maintain the family table; you won’t regret doing so. Charles Colson once commented about Christian families, saying:
“We must strengthen our commitment to model strong families ourselves, to live by godly priorities in a culture where self so often supersedes commitment to others. And as we not only model but assertively reach out to help others, we must realize that even huge societal problems are solved one person at a time.”
Let me close with the words of a hymn entitled, “I Don’t Regret a Mile.”
I don’t regret a mile; I’ve traveled for the Lord.
I don’t regret the times I’ve trusted in His Word.
I’ve seen the years go by, many days without a song.
But I don’t regret a mile; I’ve traveled for the Lord.
I’ve dreamed many dreams that didn’t come true; I’ve seen them vanish at dawn But enough of my dreams have come true to make me keep dreaming on
I prayed many a prayer that seemed no answer would come
Though I waited so patiently and long
But enough of my prayers have been answered to make me keep praying on
I’ve sown many a seed that fell by the wayside for the birds to feed upon
Ah, but I’ve held enough golden sheaves in my hand to make me keep sowing on And I’ve trusted many friends who failed me and left me to weep alone
Ah, but I’ve enough of my friends to prove to be so true that it makes me keep trusting on. I’ve drained a cup of disappointment and pain, and I’ve gone many a day without a song. But I’ve sipped enough nectar from the roses of life to make me keep living on.
The truth is that if we lead our children to love the Lord and live for Him, they can live their lives without regrets. Again, if we want to affect them for the Lord effectively, we must not neglect the family table.