Wisdom: A Family Heritage
Proverbs 4:1-10 (ESV):
1 Hear, O sons, a father’s instruction, and be attentive, that you may gain insight, 2for I give you good precepts; do not forsake my teaching.
3When I was a son with my father, tender, the only one in the sight of my mother, 4he taught me and said to me, “Let your heart hold fast my words; keep my commandments, and live. 5Get wisdom; get insight; do not forget, and do not turn away from the words of my mouth. 6Do not forsake her, and she will keep you; love her, and she will guard you.
7The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom, and whatever you get, get insight. 8Prize her highly, and she will exalt you; she will honor you if you embrace her.
9She will place on your head a graceful garland; she will bestow on you a beautiful crown.” 10Hear, my son, and accept my words, that the years of your life may be many.
In 1978, Thomas Hansen of Boulder, Colorado, sued his parents for $350,000 on the grounds of "malpractice of parenting." He charged in his suit that Mom and Dad had botched his upbringing so badly that he would need years of costly psychiatric treatment. However, the judge on the case viewed this lawsuit as ridiculous and reckless, dismissing it on the grounds that it was impossible to prove his parents had intentionally and recklessly caused his severe emotional distress.
Can you imagine what might happen if this lawsuit succeeded? How many parents today could be charged with a "malpractice of parenting?" Certainly, it would be challenging to find par ents who are willfully harming their children. Often, the failures and shortcomings of parents stem from a lack of understanding and the absence of exemplary models in parenting. Frequently, par ents merely repeat what their own parents provided them with.
This is why it is so important for us as parents to return to the Word of God and discover the practical guidelines that God Himself has provided. Here at our church, we spend the months of May and June as our family months, utilizing our Sundays to study specific topics on marriage and family relations together. This year is no different. We have set the theme, “Proverbs for Families,” for seven Sundays. I’m personally excited about this study because the Book of Proverbs, which was predominantly written by King Solomon, who is considered the second wisest man after our Savior Jesus Christ, offers a lot of useful instructions for our families.
When King Solomon wrote this book, he specifically identified the main reason why he wrote it in Proverbs 1:5-6:
5 Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance, 6to understand a proverb and a saying, the words of the wise and their riddles.
Reading these words, it is clear that the book’s main purpose is to help us become wiser in life. He literally provided us with practical sayings and realities that will assist us in successfully navi gating through this messy and fallen world. This is why it is essential that we begin our family
month with this topic this morning, “Wisdom: A Family Heritage.” Without a doubt, if parents want to leave behind something truly essential for their children, they should prioritize imparting wisdom to them. Dr James Merritt established this truth, saying:
You can leave your children money, but eventually, they will spend it. You can leave your children property; they will sell it. You can leave your family trinkets and toys, but eventually they will ei ther lose them or give them away. But if you leave them wisdom, your gift will last forever.
So, if we want to leave our children something worthwhile, we should commit to passing on to them the wisdom that comes from God. Using Proverbs 4:1-9, let’s explore three fundamental precepts from this text:
I THE INVITATION TO WISDOM (vs. 1-2)
Going back to verses 1-2, we read: “Hear, O sons, a father's instruction, and be attentive, that you may gain insight, for I give you good precepts; do not forsake my teaching.” With these words, we see King Solomon as a father appealing to his children to listen to his instructions and not abandon them.
First and foremost, for us parents who are here this morning, I hope we won’t miss the essen tial truth that although King Solomon was undoubtedly busy with his governmental duties, he still made time to provide guidance to his children. Parents providing godly instructions to their children may seem very basic, but many parents are neglecting this responsibility. Many of us allow our churches or schools to become the primary sources of instruction for children. However, when we return to the Word of God, it is clear that churches and schools, while important, ought to be sec ondary sources of instruction. God has certainly designated the home as the primary venue for the instruction of children.
This truth is reinforced in the words of the apostle Paul in Ephesians 6:4:
4Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Although we often point to both parents as the ones providing instructions, fathers are spe cifically singled out to deliver discipline and guidance from the Lord. What’s the reasoning behind this truth? It is that God consistently views fathers as the head of the home. This emphasis aligns with Paul’s words to Timothy regarding the qualifications of pastors and deacons, as found in 1 Tim othy 3:4 and 12. Here is verse 4 – “He must manage his own household well, with all digni ty keeping his children submissive.” The same sentiment is echoed for deacons in verse 12. Thus, a father with unruly and rebellious children will not qualify for these spiritual positions because he has failed in his primary duty of providing proper guidance to his children.
Going back to the text, it must also communicate to children with godly parents that they
should heed their instructions, as these instructions impart wisdom to them. Let me emphasize that godly instructions do not have to come from perfect parents; no one would qualify if this were the case. What is important is the faithfulness of parents in imparting the wisdom of the Lord. In the Book of Proverbs, wisdom al ways begins in the “fear of the Lord.” Proverbs 1:7 says, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge...” So, parents should consistently assist their children to fear the Lord. Second, wisdom is portrayed as practical and applicable to our daily life. Listen to these words in Proverbs 1:20-22:
20 Wisdom cries aloud in the street, in the markets she raises her voice;
21 at the head of the noisy streets she cries out; at the entrance of the city gates she speaks: 22 “How long, O simple ones, will you love being simple? How long will scoffers delight in their scoffing and fools hate knowledge?
Here, wisdom is personified as a woman calling out in crowded streets or marketplaces, where people gather to listen to and heed her voice. In other words, what she offers can assist them in their everyday business dealings. Lastly, wisdom involves moral insight, meaning it leads to discerning what is right from what is wrong and living according to God’s moral standard. Proverbs 1:3-4 speaks about this truth:
3 to receive instruction in wise dealing, in righteousness, justice, and equity; 4to give prudence to the simple, knowledge and discretion to the youth—
God’s wisdom will guide us in distinguishing the path that leads to a just and righteous life. So, again, if there is one thing parents should be committed to doing for their children, it must be imparting to them the wisdom from God.
II THE INTERGENERATIONAL WISDOM (vs. 3-4)
Reading verses 3-4, we find, “When I was a son with my father, tender, the only one in the sight of my mother, he taught me and said to me, “Let your heart hold fast my words; keep my commandments, and live.” I love this part of the passage because King Solomon shares his personal experience with his children. He paints a picture of his father, King David, sitting him down and im pressing upon him the need to obey his instructions. So, as David did to Solomon, now, Solomon is doing the same thing to his own children.
This imagery reveals an important truth: wisdom is intergenerational. In other words, par ents must take the time to share their experiences and lessons with their children. This is the legacy of wisdom that can shape their values and future. But more so, this is also the legacy that can teach their children’s children. The great Bible teacher R. A. Torrey made a statement that should chal lenge every Christian father in every generation. He said:
“A man’s success as a Christian leader cannot be determined until one sees his grandchildren.”
Why is this true? Well, the reality based on this passage today is that par
ents are not only raising their own children; they are also indirectly raising their grandchildren because they raised their fathers and mothers.
So, parents, are you passing on God’s wisdom to your children? This is es
sential because, instead of wisdom, it is also possible to pass on foolishness and wickedness, and as a result, our children may inherit a curse from the Lord. Listen to these words in Proverbs 3:33: 33 The Lord's curse is on the house of the wicked, but he blesses the dwelling of the righteous.
I’m sure no parents want to invite God’s curse upon their home. But without wisdom from God, they may end up doing exactly that. This reminds me of what I read from the book of Gordon MacDonald, The Effective Father; He wrote:
Among the legends is the tale of a medieval sidewalk superintendent who asked stone masons on a construction project what they were doing. The first replied that he was laying bricks. The sec ond described his work as that of building a wall. But it was the third laborer who demonstrated genuine esteem for his work when he said, “I am raising a great cathedral.”
Pose the same question to any two fathers concerning their role in the family, and you are liable to get the same kind of contrast. The first may say, “I am supporting a family.” But the second may see things differently and say, “I am raising children.” The former looks at his job as putting bread on the table. But the latter sees things in God’s perspective. He is participating in the shap ing of lives.
Indeed, it is crucial to faithfully provide for our family, but I trust we won’t prioritize this over our responsibility to shape the lives of our children.
III THE INCENTIVES OF WISDOM (vs. 5-9)
Lastly, with an emphasis on wisdom, King Solomon took the time to incentivize his children to pursue wisdom by helping them understand the blessings that wisdom can bring into their lives. There are three essential blessings:
A. Wisdom brings protection in life (v.6) – “Do not forsake her, and she will keep you; love her, and she will guard you.”
When God’s children choose to live in accordance with God’s precepts and laws, they serve as guardrails that provide security and safety in life. This truth is reinforced by the fact that God’s Word, which is the main source of His wisdom, functions as our shield in life. Proverbs 30:5 says, “Every word of God proves true; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him.”
B. Wisdom brings promotion in life (v. 8-9) – “Prize her highly, and she will exalt you; she will honor you if you embrace her. She will place on your head a graceful garland; she will bestow on you a beautiful crown.”
Another significant blessing of wisdom is that it helps build a beautiful life
and an honorable reputation, ultimately leading to advancements in life. This truth reminds me of King Solomon’s experience at the beginning of his reign over Israel. God appeared to him in a dream in 1 Kings 3:5-9 and gave him the privilege to ask anything he wanted from Him. To make a long story short, acknowledging his inexperience and inadequacy, he thought that if there was something he needed, it was wis dom. So, that’s what he asked from the Lord. Fast forward, in 1 Kings 3:11-14, you will read what he received as a response from God:
11 And God said to him, “Because you have asked this, and have not asked for yourself long life or riches or the life of your enemies, but have asked for yourself understanding to discern what is right,
12 behold, I now do according to your word. Behold, I give you a wise and discerning mind, so that none like you has been before you and none like you shall arise after you.
13 I give you also what you have not asked, both riches and honor, so that no other king shall com pare with you, all your days.
14 And if you will walk in my ways, keeping my statutes and my commandments, as your father David walked, then I will lengthen your days.”
He asked for wisdom, but ultimately he also received riches and honor from the Lord.
C. Wisdom brings prolonged life on earth (v. 10) – “Hear, my son, and accept my words, that the years of your life may be many.”
Last but not least, the Lord would bestow long life upon His people who pursue wisdom. Of course, living foolishly results in a life full of misery and complications. Who would want to live long with that kind of life? No one, for sure! This is the main reason why in verse 7, King Solomon said, “The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom, and whatever you get, get insight.” In other words, since wisdom is so significant in our lives, we must do whatever it takes to acquire wisdom in life.
Having said this about wisdom, it is easy to recognize that the wisdom of Proverbs is personi fied by Jesus Christ and that the beginning of wisdom comes from a personal relationship with Him. Let me close with a clear challenge to all our parents: if you are going to continue to place Jesus at the center of your homes, it also means that you will be able to cultivate a legacy of wisdom that will eventually benefit each member of the family and strengthen the bond within your family. So, pursue Jesus Christ to be at the center of your families!